The One Key Phrase Everyone Needs To Remember If They Want a Better Life

The other day, I was speaking to a friend who was struggling. She was having a hard time over something that was going to make her life better, but she didn’t want to give up her current set of beliefs.

The words I said to her seemed to have no origin. They just shot out of my mouth with a force beyond my control. I didn’t even know what that really meant when I said it.

“All change needs resistance.”

 

Do You Feel Like Your Life Is Wasting Away?

For a long time, I resisted what made my heart SING. For way too many hours, I sat at desks and gave parts of my soul to build other people’s dreams.  I missed out on the life I wanted.

Although I was damn good at helping others build businesses, I was dark, sad and EXTREMELY unfulfilled.

It reminds me of the poem by Langston Hughes called ‘A Dream Deferred” (although written for a vastly different reason, I could palpably relate to each gorgeous word written).

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore–
And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Who you are is what you do. If you’re like me and always struggle with the feeling like there’s more out there for you, just remember—you are what you do. If you want different, you have to change what you do.

 

How Do You Change?

This is where the resistance comes in. No great change has ever happened on this earth without a resistance to the norm first. 

Resistance is one of those paradoxical words. When you live inside of resistance, you don’t give way to the flow of life. It’s a place of non-acceptance AKA suffering. 

But without being in that place of suffering, no change is ever birthed. 

See the trick?

So take that angst you feel about your life wasting away, and let that be your guidepost and your sign that you are indeed, doing the next right action for yourself. 

You Do You

I’ve always been a huge advocate of change, even excited by it. After all, change means you’re LIVING.

Well my friend, let today mark your official day of change. Commit to dream bigger than you ever have, to live happier than you ever have, and to hopefully help more people (or dogs) than you ever have.

ENHANCED and TRANSFORM yourself. What change are you about to CHOOSE for yourself? Because after all, we are only a sum of all of our choices. Even though change is SO HARD, let’s choose to give it some extra props today.

Pushing yourself and your comfort limits will create change. One small paw print at a time ? ?. You can’t get somewhere new doing and being who you’ve always been. It’s time. Bust out. Expand. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable. Push with care just ever so slightly past your tolerance. You’ll be rewarded too

Did you know astronauts can’t get to the moon in one straight shot? That every few moments a new course must be re-plotted? Eventually with enough tiny shifts, they get there!

I encourage you to make one teesny tiny change you need to fulfill a piece of your soul. Just one shift changes the trajectory of your entire life. Roll with it! If I can do it you totally can too. You got this! ?

Why Do I Feel Sleazy When I’m Selling?

Why Do I Feel Sleazy When I’m Selling?

Why Do I Feel Sleazy When I’m Selling?

The Fictional Used Car Salesman

Everyone’s got that picture in their head of the greasy hair slicked over to the side, plaid full-body suit, fake alligator shoes and a bad attitude guy. The fictional used car salesman. As a buyer, you know in your gut that this guy doesn’t have your best interest at heart. That he’s going to take advantage of you in some way shape or form by selling you something you don’t want, for a price that you can’t afford. But TRUE selling doesn’t have to be that way. True selling isn’t actually selling at all. True selling is sharing. True selling is believing so deeply in what you sell that you can’t not tell someone about it.

But Are We Manipulating Others When We Sell?

Marketing’s basis is in psychology. Therefore marketing can be used to manipulate another. I call this “Dark Marketing” and believe me, I have been there. Using human psychology principals to get others to buy what you want them to buy. Dark Marketers prey on a person’s blind spot or their unconscious patterns. Smart Marketers see a need and attempt to alleviate it. One is based in opportunism for self-gain and the other is based in compassion.

But there’s also this stone cold fact: Someone cannot be forced to believe or do something. Technically, no one can be manipulated.

You can only be ripe for what you are hearing and DECIDE to comply (consciously or unconsciously) or deny. Even by merely thinking we might be manipulating somebody else through selling to them, takes their power away.

It is when we feel unworthy to take up space or when we feel unworthy to be listened to, we oftentimes have the same thoughts that we are manipulating somebody into doing something they don’t want to do. But that’s just not true.

It’s nobody’s responsibility but the buyer if they get duped by a Dark Marketer. 

  1. Ended up with a product the buyer didn’t really want because they just couldn’t say no? That’s the buyer’s responsibility.
  2. Didn’t read the fine print? That’s the buyer’s responsibility.
  3. Didn’t see that the salesman snuck in an extra fee before they signed a paper? That’s also their responsibility; albeit it’s gross and not-transparent and THE ACTUAL DEFINITION OF SLEAZE

The buyer CHOOSING to give their money to something they felt like would add value to their life? That’s also THEIR responsibility. So why aren’t you letting them exercise their right to spend their money where they please?

Shine Bright Like a Diamond

You, my friend, are simply trying to spread your message. Spreading your message is not sneaking in an extra fee before somebody signs on the dotted line. Spreading your message is not bait and switch. Loving your work and trying to make other people’s lives better with it is not price gouging.

You are fully worthy to be listened to your fully worthy to be purchased from and you are not burdening anybody by being paid for the work that you do. Even if nobody asked you to do it.

Because people don’t know what they need until they are told they need it. Then if they are ripe to help themselves they will want to buy your product. if they are not ready to help themselves they will simply not even see that you’re offering something.

6 Ways To Not Feel Sleazy When Selling: 

  1. Believe you’re allowed to take up space.
  2. Tell a story from your perspective. Human brains love a story and they love social proof that what you’ve done before works. Simply use your own story to sell it for you. There’s no guilt in telling a true story about your product’s affect on your life.
  3. Don’t take anything personally. If your potential buyer doesn’t want to buy your product or they’re not interested at all, it is not a reflection of you or your work that you put time and effort into. It is only a reflection of their state of mind. It is a no for just right now and not I no forever.
  4.  Listen intently to what they tell you. Try to get a holistic picture of how they are viewing their life. And if you’re really really listening to their excuses or their rejection, then you can start to paint a picture of what’s really going on so you can sell to them better. This also helps you shape questions to ask that will take a deeper look into how they view the world.
  5.  Talk to the Right audience. You wouldn’t go into a room with doctors and start to sell Construction equipment, would you? No. That would fall on deaf ears. when you were talking to the right group of people, they tend to be more open to what you’re saying. And at the very least you can get more information on how to sell to them better. And at the very most you’ll make a new client. Make your solution specific to your buyer. 
  6. Share your message clearly with authenticity. Too many bloggers and influencers these days will use #2 above to “hotwire a connection” with their audience. It’s tricky and hard to spot. It’s present as that little kernel of grossness you feel in the back of your mind. This is Modern Sleaze to the Used Car Salesman of yesterday.  Speaking clearly and authentically helps you avoid guilt because you’ve said #allthethings and this person still chose to give you money. LET THEM!

Here’s a great video by Marie Forleo on selling with integrity. Go forth and make money. You have my permission!!

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Need help digging into these feelings of unworthiness more? Write to me by hitting the contact button to set up a marketing mindset coaching session!

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