How To Be Successful The Spiritual Way

Success as a set of actions, not an acquisition

I just read an article about somebody googling how to be successful and it got me thinking. That person googling it must have been looking for a ten-step process to “get success”. As if success is somewhere to get it. Success simply means you can meet a goal. Success is not the actual goal. So success is the action to meet the thing, not the thing itself, despite all of the bombarding of information that it should be about money and things… so what happens when you can’t make a goal? Self-worth issues, prisoner issues, not believing you’ll get the goal because everything you’ve ever wanted was either not granted to you or taken away. Those beliefs are why you are not successful (when success means meeting a goal)

You don’t have to be productive to be valuable, but you also can’t completely throw productivity to the wind and say you’ll just relax because I heard relaxing is really good for you. This is a rut. It’s an energetic dimension that is a loop. Loops are hard to get out of. But simply by looking at this, recognizing that it’s a pattern, you automatically alchemize it. You can start to see the pattern from a third-party perspective instead of being IN IT. And that’s the case for all patterns. We are so in it we are blinded. We are too far inside the jar to read the label. By when we apply consciousness to it, you become a third party viewing your patterns thereby pulling you out of the pattern. And when you are pulled out of the pattern by becoming a visitor of the show, you now have pulled your darkness into the light. You have pulled your subconscious into the light. And the light is no longer your subconscious, but your consciousness. And when something is in your consciousness you are in full conscious control of making new decisions which will manifest new realities for you. Life is a compilation of our behaviors. And if our behaviors are not conscious, neither are our choices. Yet, were still held responsible for those choices.

 

Manifesting new realities

Our life is a manifestation of our beliefs because our beliefs create our behaviors. And because literally, every single part of life is a relationship, every single thing is interacting with us and responding or reacting based off that thing’s behavior. So, if you are in the world behaving a certain way, your immediate reality will reflect that. It is also a massive case of chicken and the egg. You’re reacting off someone else’s pain body and they’re reacting off of yours with no end in sight. But when you apply consciousness to your actions, you immediately change the way the world relates to you.

 

The myth of instantaneous change

You can’t just snap your fingers and change.

Imagine you’re on a rock looking down on a city. Inside of you thinks, wow that city is beautiful because you can only see the tops of the buildings. Imagine every building is a person you know and yourself. Seeing just the tops that touch the sky is not going to change your behavior. You have to be willing enough to go deep down to the basement floors that are unseen from any vantage point. You can’t look at it from afar. You must physically travel there to see it. Behaviors cannot be forcefully changed despite popular belief. Doing that only creates more unhelpful beliefs inside of you.

As a kid, I had OCD pretty severely. Long story short, I cured myself. And I did it by forcing new behaviors whilst I forcefully pushed down the behaviors that were creating the OCD loop. While that worked wonders and probably saved my life from the never-ending daunting pain of OCD, I learned in the meantime that I should forcefully push, and therefore ignore, every single negative thought I’ve ever had. And let me tell you that has negative consequences beyond your belief. It took me years to unwind the damage I did to save myself.

Most people don’t want to do this work yet want a better life. They are scared and they feel helpless. They want their life to either just magically get better or hold on to a fantasy that somebody is going to come around and swoop them up and save them with either money, attention, or free mentorship. And this rounds me back out to the beginning of this chat. Getting out of the mental loop that you’re some kind of prisoner or hermit that must wait for a passerby to throw a crumb in order to get anywhere. But my friend, you actually have the keys to your cage. You simply need to be brave enough to look at your wounds and your pain, be willing to change the way you see yourself and make conscious decisions on your next behavior. It’s not easy, it’s not for the weak, but once you decide to do it there’s literally nothing stopping you. Just like your goals to your success.

The One Key Phrase Everyone Needs To Remember If They Want a Better Life

The other day, I was speaking to a friend who was struggling. She was having a hard time over something that was going to make her life better, but she didn’t want to give up her current set of beliefs.

The words I said to her seemed to have no origin. They just shot out of my mouth with a force beyond my control. I didn’t even know what that really meant when I said it.

“All change needs resistance.”

 

Do You Feel Like Your Life Is Wasting Away?

For a long time, I resisted what made my heart SING. For way too many hours, I sat at desks and gave parts of my soul to build other people’s dreams.  I missed out on the life I wanted.

Although I was damn good at helping others build businesses, I was dark, sad and EXTREMELY unfulfilled.

It reminds me of the poem by Langston Hughes called ‘A Dream Deferred” (although written for a vastly different reason, I could palpably relate to each gorgeous word written).

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore–
And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Who you are is what you do. If you’re like me and always struggle with the feeling like there’s more out there for you, just remember—you are what you do. If you want different, you have to change what you do.

 

How Do You Change?

This is where the resistance comes in. No great change has ever happened on this earth without a resistance to the norm first. 

Resistance is one of those paradoxical words. When you live inside of resistance, you don’t give way to the flow of life. It’s a place of non-acceptance AKA suffering. 

But without being in that place of suffering, no change is ever birthed. 

See the trick?

So take that angst you feel about your life wasting away, and let that be your guidepost and your sign that you are indeed, doing the next right action for yourself. 

You Do You

I’ve always been a huge advocate of change, even excited by it. After all, change means you’re LIVING.

Well my friend, let today mark your official day of change. Commit to dream bigger than you ever have, to live happier than you ever have, and to hopefully help more people (or dogs) than you ever have.

ENHANCED and TRANSFORM yourself. What change are you about to CHOOSE for yourself? Because after all, we are only a sum of all of our choices. Even though change is SO HARD, let’s choose to give it some extra props today.

Pushing yourself and your comfort limits will create change. One small paw print at a time ? ?. You can’t get somewhere new doing and being who you’ve always been. It’s time. Bust out. Expand. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable. Push with care just ever so slightly past your tolerance. You’ll be rewarded too

Did you know astronauts can’t get to the moon in one straight shot? That every few moments a new course must be re-plotted? Eventually with enough tiny shifts, they get there!

I encourage you to make one teesny tiny change you need to fulfill a piece of your soul. Just one shift changes the trajectory of your entire life. Roll with it! If I can do it you totally can too. You got this! ?

Why Do I Feel Sleazy When I’m Selling?

Why Do I Feel Sleazy When I’m Selling?

Why Do I Feel Sleazy When I’m Selling?

The Fictional Used Car Salesman

Everyone’s got that picture in their head of the greasy hair slicked over to the side, plaid full-body suit, fake alligator shoes and a bad attitude guy. The fictional used car salesman. As a buyer, you know in your gut that this guy doesn’t have your best interest at heart. That he’s going to take advantage of you in some way shape or form by selling you something you don’t want, for a price that you can’t afford. But TRUE selling doesn’t have to be that way. True selling isn’t actually selling at all. True selling is sharing. True selling is believing so deeply in what you sell that you can’t not tell someone about it.

But Are We Manipulating Others When We Sell?

Marketing’s basis is in psychology. Therefore marketing can be used to manipulate another. I call this “Dark Marketing” and believe me, I have been there. Using human psychology principals to get others to buy what you want them to buy. Dark Marketers prey on a person’s blind spot or their unconscious patterns. Smart Marketers see a need and attempt to alleviate it. One is based in opportunism for self-gain and the other is based in compassion.

But there’s also this stone cold fact: Someone cannot be forced to believe or do something. Technically, no one can be manipulated.

You can only be ripe for what you are hearing and DECIDE to comply (consciously or unconsciously) or deny. Even by merely thinking we might be manipulating somebody else through selling to them, takes their power away.

It is when we feel unworthy to take up space or when we feel unworthy to be listened to, we oftentimes have the same thoughts that we are manipulating somebody into doing something they don’t want to do. But that’s just not true.

It’s nobody’s responsibility but the buyer if they get duped by a Dark Marketer. 

  1. Ended up with a product the buyer didn’t really want because they just couldn’t say no? That’s the buyer’s responsibility.
  2. Didn’t read the fine print? That’s the buyer’s responsibility.
  3. Didn’t see that the salesman snuck in an extra fee before they signed a paper? That’s also their responsibility; albeit it’s gross and not-transparent and THE ACTUAL DEFINITION OF SLEAZE

The buyer CHOOSING to give their money to something they felt like would add value to their life? That’s also THEIR responsibility. So why aren’t you letting them exercise their right to spend their money where they please?

Shine Bright Like a Diamond

You, my friend, are simply trying to spread your message. Spreading your message is not sneaking in an extra fee before somebody signs on the dotted line. Spreading your message is not bait and switch. Loving your work and trying to make other people’s lives better with it is not price gouging.

You are fully worthy to be listened to your fully worthy to be purchased from and you are not burdening anybody by being paid for the work that you do. Even if nobody asked you to do it.

Because people don’t know what they need until they are told they need it. Then if they are ripe to help themselves they will want to buy your product. if they are not ready to help themselves they will simply not even see that you’re offering something.

6 Ways To Not Feel Sleazy When Selling: 

  1. Believe you’re allowed to take up space.
  2. Tell a story from your perspective. Human brains love a story and they love social proof that what you’ve done before works. Simply use your own story to sell it for you. There’s no guilt in telling a true story about your product’s affect on your life.
  3. Don’t take anything personally. If your potential buyer doesn’t want to buy your product or they’re not interested at all, it is not a reflection of you or your work that you put time and effort into. It is only a reflection of their state of mind. It is a no for just right now and not I no forever.
  4.  Listen intently to what they tell you. Try to get a holistic picture of how they are viewing their life. And if you’re really really listening to their excuses or their rejection, then you can start to paint a picture of what’s really going on so you can sell to them better. This also helps you shape questions to ask that will take a deeper look into how they view the world.
  5.  Talk to the Right audience. You wouldn’t go into a room with doctors and start to sell Construction equipment, would you? No. That would fall on deaf ears. when you were talking to the right group of people, they tend to be more open to what you’re saying. And at the very least you can get more information on how to sell to them better. And at the very most you’ll make a new client. Make your solution specific to your buyer. 
  6. Share your message clearly with authenticity. Too many bloggers and influencers these days will use #2 above to “hotwire a connection” with their audience. It’s tricky and hard to spot. It’s present as that little kernel of grossness you feel in the back of your mind. This is Modern Sleaze to the Used Car Salesman of yesterday.  Speaking clearly and authentically helps you avoid guilt because you’ve said #allthethings and this person still chose to give you money. LET THEM!

Here’s a great video by Marie Forleo on selling with integrity. Go forth and make money. You have my permission!!

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Need help digging into these feelings of unworthiness more? Write to me by hitting the contact button to set up a marketing mindset coaching session!

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