The Heretic’s Guide To Lent

The Heretic’s Guide To Lent

How to observe Lent as a religiously averse spiritual person

I used to think lent was just another way for Catholics to flagellate themselves yet again. I used to think how dumb it was to remove something you liked from your life, all because… it was going to make Jesus happy? Do we really need to keep making Jesus happy? What’s he ever done for me? Why am I listening to what man tells me Jesus wanted me to do? I was ignorant and also unwilling to lose my harsh disdain for religion for what might have been the actual truth. Now I can’t get enough of it. And that Catholic/Christian wound I used to carry where everything religious-related warranted a pantomime finger-down-my-throat.

Nowadays, I want nothing but the truth. The ORIGINAL truth. Not a truth fed to me by mass media, big business, or big religion. I want the origins of everything. This includes our spiritual practices. I really do believe the ancients knew more than we did on certain things, and what they practiced to become closer to the divine (rituals) was one of them.

I study ancient texts now, I look for the true meaning in things, and I look for where women played a role since it’s quite obvious how much that whole thing has been covered up (hullo, Mary Magdalene). I’m devoted to Truth with a capital T, and that’s got to come from within my own aha moments, my own discernment, and my own elated vibration of resonance when the truth just HITS.

This was the first year I decided to participate in lent. My devotion to the True meaning behind ancient rituals brought me to it. I want to know WHY we do these things, not just that we SHOULD. When I learned what lent was true about, I jumped at the chance to join in. And just in time too, because it was starting the next day, March 2, 2022. This is where my guides came in. They immediately told me what it was that I needed to “give up” (hint: that’s the old language of abstinence and restriction). To my surprise, lent isn’t about restriction at all. IT is about something much more powerful and beautiful. Purification. 

You see, I don’t really believe too much in restriction, especially the all-or-nothing kind. I was restricted a lot as a kid, which is part of the reason why I didn’t understand why people would give up something they loved for such a long time of year. I watched my friends growing up suffering, and for what? Nobody knew. They just knew they were supposed to. That type of restriction makes no sense. As a teenager I said to my catholic friends, why would God want you to not eat candy? I was damn lucky if I got a piece of candy or a cookie, there’s no way I’d be giving it up for a cause that is not all that explained to me. When you’re already restricted, more restrictions make for a really dull life… and I didn’t realize at the time most kids had the space to give up some pleasant things. But after all, isn’t enjoying the pleasantries of life, what life is all about? God made pleasant things so you can enjoy them.

The truth behind purification:

So here’s the truth about purification. It is not about self-depreciation or ridding your body of something. It is not about purging, it’s about integrating. It’s about clearing the way inside your mind, body, spirit, and aura so the divine can be birthed through you. And this is the story of Mary the virgin. This is the archetype of Virgo. To purify, cleanse, make better, organize and analyze. I see Virgos akin to defragging a computer. Putting all the bits in a better home so the computer has more processing space. But what purification does more than defragging is that it creates more space than you had before. You become a larger container or womb, for the divine to be received, grown, and born into the world as something completely new. So when you “give up” something for Lent, you’re letting go of what no longer serves you to make room for more and better. In this case for me, it was coffee and the caffeine that came from coffee (but not from green tea.) you are creating energetic space for more of the divine to flow through you. So the clearer your channel, the more potent the messages, creations, and manifestations are.

Here is what I accomplished during my days of purification:

(by the way, I did not observe it like the Catholics do, and allow for these things on Sundays. That feels made up to me and somewhat modern. I went completely old-school purification and when you’re purifying, you just don’t STOP for Sundays. So in total, it’s 46 days, not 40 when you take out the 6 Sundays.)

  • I got the urge to finally write the book I’ve always wanted to write. Except I didn’t know what it was going to be about. So I decided to channel it completely from my guides. I learned the guides channeling through me were called the Rose Collective. And if you know me and what I do, I am a rose priestess educator. So this was quite fitting
  • I was able to channel nearly 20,000 words to this book exactly in this period of time.
  • I had many personal aha moments about my relationship and what I had been doing to contribute to our mess. And how easy the fix was for my portion of things. 
  • Started, and kept up (keyword) a podcast
  • During the Jupiter-Neptune conjunction (towards the end of lent), archangel Chamuel came through with the full title of my book and told me I was a rose code activator which I had used code and activator in my Instagram story the night before which I never do
  • I learned I can do anything uncomfortable for 46 days. I really do have the ability to persevere through discomfort and perform even when not at my best. 
  • I attended the Gaia conference in Denver, co where while I was walking through the labyrinth, my rose collective guides gave me the rose priestess induction ceremony that I never received from my mentor. It was a beautiful wedding for me to the rose collective, where I also learned was where my consciousness came from.
  • I learned there is the 13th chakra and that the goddess laws, the system that I’m channeling, existed. 
  • I’ve had more sex than I ever have had in my entire life
  • My divine channel is always lit.
  • I learned truly what divine surrender meant, and how I was not embodying that part of the feminine. I was still in a chokehold over control and expectations with people, places, and how my own life and goals were unfolding.

Guided steps to observing esoteric lent:

  1. Decide that becoming a smooth ride for the divine is a goal of yours. Really tap into deciding if you want to be the bobsled run for the divine bobsled chariot. If the answer is a whole-hearted yes, read on.
  2. Now you know you want to become a larger and more clear container for the inspiration to come through so you can create with that energy. Tap in during a quiet time (for me it’s running the water while doing the dishes!) and ask from your heart for support from your guides.
  3. Did you get any messages from the above step? Did they give you something to remove that’ll help you become a clearer channel? If not, I bet the first thing you think of is the thing your body, mind, and spirit need less of. It can be as obvious as substances like cigarettes or coffee, but it could also be behaviors that get in the way of your highest self. Like not being able to let go.
  4. If it’s behavioral, it’s going to be harder to notice you’re doing it, and remember you are to be aware of this behavior, so write it on a post-it note and stick it where you’ll see it daily.
  5. create an altar space to use as your signal to the divine that you’re ready and need support. An altar is a portal so the energies will be higher in that area and can help you.
  6. Replace your bad habit with going to your altar. All that extra time you have in the day can now go toward your devotion that you decided upon in step one.
  7. Forgive yourself when you mess up. God isn’t looking for you to be perfect. She’s looking for you to devote yourself. and a part of devotion is to notice when we slip, not to not slip. I may not have had coffee (because it would take a literal effort to do it,) but I did accidentally drink drinks that had caffeine in them that I wanted to avoid. this isn’t about restricting like when you restrict calories in a diet (I do not recommend), messing up doesn’t put you at square one. forgive yourself, ask for divine support and move on.
  8. Celebrate your wins. at the end of each week, write in your journal all that’s changing in your life due to being purer than you were before. Also, give yourself props for being without your vice for this long.
  9. Pray pray pray. Meditate. Whatever it is that connects you. Ask for support. Ask for guidance. GROUND! Usually, our vices are the things that ground us. Find a replacement. For me, it was Mud Water, caffeine-free teas and Matcha (I asked my guides if those things were ok and got a yes. As I said, it was less about caffeine and more about the constituents of caffeinated coffee)

In the end, even though I did suffer on those afternoons when I was premenstrual and a second cup of coffee would have made me more productive, the benefits outweighed it. I highly recommend intentionally purifying to become a clearer channel for the divine. It feels really great to look back on 46 days and see all the changes and shifts that were made within me, and as we all know what happens within happens on the outside too. So your manifestations become even closer to your dreams than ever before.


How To Activate Your Badass Within

How To Activate Your Badass Within

Whenever I do those exercises where you are supposed to ask people to describe you, most times the word “badass” is one of them. “You’re so ba-DASS” they’d say, with an infliction on the “dass” part. Other times I get both syllables exclaimed like you are a BAD (pause) ASS (oftentimes mthrfkr comes after that).

Whenever I post some accomplishments of mine on the internet from things I’ve overcome in the past, I’ll get messages like “you’re such a baddie” or “that’s totally badass”. And I never quite got it. I would shake my head or be really confused like, do people see me at all?! I’m weird, a bit quiet and too gentle to be a badass.

Well, the truth is, those people saw my true “soul-me” and not the me I was projecting myself out in the universe. I would try to hard to cover up any of my badass nature with how mature I was, or how nurturing I was, or how gentle I was. I didn’t own badass at all. But every time someone would say it, it felt like an angel got its wings. It felt natural. It felt powerful. It felt authentic. It felt like home.

And that’s the thing: all those other things that I am such as nurturing and really inclusive/welcoming, are great and the truth. But they didn’t feel powerful to me. When I’d use those words they felt, well, nice, but they did not give me a sense of powered-up priestess vibes. 

I had badassery in my shadow. The shadow is the place where all the things you don’t or can’t see about yourself live. I didn’t OWN this part of me. And when I started to, my world started to click into place. So in case anyone out there has badassery in their shadow, I wanted to define what I deem a true badass to be, in hopes that you will claim this title for yourself as well. And just as a little hint: It’s all about what makes you feel powerful. To me, badassery and power are not mutually exclusive.

What Is A Badass Anyway?

  • Someone who is true to herself.

And with that, you don’t care what others think because when you know you’re doing the right thing, you don’t care what other people say. Like Brene Brown said, don’t take advice from people not in the arena.

  • Someone who overcomes hardship without a chip on her shoulder. 

Meaning, she doesn’t carry the past with her and she sure as hell doesn’t let it run her life and make decisions for her.

  • She strives, but not without fear. 

She continues and keeps going despite setbacks and failures. Because she knows there is no such thing as failure, just redirection 

  • She loves hard, and she does so vulnerably.

Love many things, but love yourself first. And do so knowing there’s a risk involved and do it anyway. Follow your path despite the risk.

  • She moves in this world unencumbered by what others think or say

When you start doing what is truly authentically your soul-self, it stops mattering what other people will say or think with their discomfort of your power.

  • She’s powerful.

She knows where and what gives her power and doesn’t let it leak out. She practices self-care and self-love. She takes care of her needs and her inner child as if her life depends on it.

  • A badass owns her story and gives herself credit for all she’s gone through and overcame. 

She puts words to her pain and gives reverence to her ability to persevere and overcome. She gives herself massive credit and doesn’t shy away from owning her life’s story out of a false sense of humility. 

  • She has solid boundaries, knows why she has them and respects her needs just as much as she respects other’s needs.

This needs no explanation.

  • She believes. She believes in herself and trusts her god.

She develops trust within herself and she believes in her ability to exert a deliberate creation into her future. She is a master of her Self. She understands her divinity and trusts in her spirit team to help co-create her reality with her. This is pure power.

Here’s what a badass is not:

  • She doesn’t push herself over the brink. She knows her limits and respects the hell out of her body.
  • She isn’t living in an overly masculine mindset. She doesn’t follow the paradigm of toxic masculinity where you work yourself to exhaustion just to feel worthy. She ALREADY feels worthy by just being alive.
  • She isn’t obsessed with having power over someone. She is only obsessed with harnessing her own innate power and utilizing it to enact change in her life. She knows the only real power comes from within.

If you’d like to have deeper access to your own personal power by activating the priestess within. Check out my level one priestess training: Sacred Flame Keeper where we will dive in with goddess activations, ritual, and information to show you where your true power lies. You can check it out here. 

To hear more on this topic, head over to The Badass Goddess Podcast to listen and subscribe!


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How do I know if I should quit or keep going?

How do I know if I should quit or keep going?

I ask this question a lot to myself. When it is good to keep striving to reach your goal, and when is it okay to give up and throw in the towel and chalk it up to another learning?

I am a believer in the “pull, don’t push” method. I just made that up, but it’s the one I believe in. I believe our worlds work much better when we let our more peaceful and creative side of our minds do the heavy lifting.

One night at dinner I was talking to my fiancé. I had just had a conversation with my therapist (yes even priestesses need therapists) about this. You hear on social media all the time “never give up!” what you want is always just around the corner. Blah blah blah.

How many fucking corners do I need to turn around before this shit works out?!

I felt like I was always swimming upstream. Everything was difficult. Everything was a challenge. Nothing felt like the flow of life (eh hem, the receptive feminine mumbo jumbo I was just writing about).

It was all soooo masculine and patriarchal. Push push push, try, try, try, effort, effort, effort. Nothing in there about ease, grace, or flow.

The last words I expected out of my very male fiancé, “sometimes you need to just do the next right thing in your flow and not start from the end and work your way backward until you push a creation out, like they tell you to do”.

So everything I’ve ever learned about the law of attraction is fucking wrong?!


The law of attraction is great and all. But it won’t work anymore. The basis of the LoA is to embody a very masculine way of thinking. (remember masculine and patriarchy go together). Masculine thinking, your yang side, is direct, it pushes, it’s logical, linear and overly reasonable. The way we all grew up thinking. So what happens to all these “laws” (LoA is actually not a law in and of itself. But that’s another episode) that are law based on an outmoded, outdated way of thinking?

You guessed it, shit don’t work no more.

Have you ever internally battled “sage wisdom” you see on the internet like me? Have you ever been stuck in between “never quit” and do “do the next right thing”? Do I make an end goal in mind and break my steps down and work toward them until I reach my goal, or do I “fail fast” and “pivot”?

I’ve got a bit of a solution for you here. It’s not easy and it’ll take some time to get used to, but it works much much better. The idea here is to allow.

Ugh, those words make me want to hurl sometimes. Allow, accept, receive. BULL SHITTTTT.

It’s actually not though. These words make you want to hurl because we have been trained to believe that this is passive (therefore weak) and we can’t sit idly by as we wait for things to come to us.

Practice makes perfect. And practicing working out our feminine minds will help us with all of this. And everyone has a feminine mind. It’s the right side of your brain, you know–the one you were told to forget about when they forced you to be right-handed in school. (oh was that just me? Too bad, I’m a lefty anyway! Haha losers!)

Because see, we need to be okay with paradox before any of these words will make an impact on our lives. And paradox is inherently a feminine trait. Paradox means: to be able to hold two conflicting ideas in your mind at the same time.

So what we need to do is have a FEELING we want to achieve, not a THING, and then allow and trust life to bring us to the feeling we want. We make a move and it either brings us closer to our feeling or further away. It’s a spiritual game of hot and cold! If it’s cool, then we need to rechart our course. If it’s warm, we do more of the same.

Did you know you can’t get to the moon in one single calculation? That the path needs to be recalculated almost constantly to account for unforeseen space winds and movements in the Earth’s field. Same with our lives. If the moon is our feeling destination, then we need to chart our course daily, according to plan.

So whether to know when to quit or keep going isn’t even the question. It’s asking yourself if you are pushing or pulling. Are you forcing or flowing? Are you leading with your masculine side or walking alongside of life through your feminine side?

If you’d like more sage priestess wisdom, please sign up for my newsletter below or drop me a line @spiritualicity on Instagram!

Hierarchy is sooo last astrological age

My name is Nikki and I’m a Priestess.

There I said it. And to be honest, I still don’t like it.

I don’t like hierarchy. I don’t like anything that feels one-up or one-down from another. I don’t like anything that feels or claims to be superior over anything else.

I don’t like when we’re made to feel there’s only one right way to do something. That having the perfect thing is the answer.

Perfection is just a construct made by the patriarchal system. If you can be controlled, then you will never fight back, have a mind of your own, or realize the systems in which we live really only serve a small few.
And we don’t have to stand for it. Because it’s a damn lie.

When you start your initiatory path to becoming a priestess, you’re doing it BECAUSE it’s non-hierarchical. Priestessing is in place to remove hierarchy. Yet, human nature seems to proceed in that very direction.

Being a priestess doesn’t make me better than you. I’m not more needed than you. If we stick to the idea that everyone on this planet has a purpose and a meaning, then you can never take a “more pious” role more seriously than the cashier at the gas station or a teacher in a school. We’re all needed the exact same amount.

Being a priestess, to me, means a few things. Personally, it’s like getting that terminal degree I’ve always wanted. I have always striven for self-mastery, and it’s in my numerological chart. That doesn’t mean I believe you’re not as good as me if you don’t strive for self-mastery. We’re all on different paths here on earth in this incarnation. Your path may to just relax and enjoy the ride. And I love that for you.

It also means that I’ve taken to dedicating my life to the service of others. Again, that does not make me better than you. Everyone in their natural state is already in service to others whether we choose it or not. In this life, I have consciously chosen to be of service in the industry of teaching and education. Again, something that’s in my chart and I can’t get away from it even if I tried.

I have always, for my entire life, been obsessed with the unseen. The esoteric, mystical and occult. It is the filter in which I see the world. I create my life through this filter. So it seems much appropriate that I journey down the path towards priestesshood, so that I can fulfill these parts of me. This is the greatest service anyone can do for anyone, to fulfill themselves to the best of their ability in all their life sectors. Happy people make other people happy.

I’m the oldest of 3 girls. I have been leading the pack since my sister was born. Even if I didn’t have two younger siblings I think I would have always been the leader. Priestessing isn’t’ so much about leading a whole tribe to the river, but to go first to the river to experience its personality. To come back and tell the world about it. To show that there is food, and medicine, peace and shelter there. Priestesses are explorers and storytellers. They lend structure when needed and live through their receptive hearts to show what is possible. Its believing in the unseen and helping others do the same. It’s where hope lives, and I don’t know about you, but I want to be where hope is.

When I found numerology, I had discovered, I had been instinctively following my soul’s intended journey all along, but I just didn’t give myself real permission for me to do it. I’d dabble and wax poetic about the universal mysteries but never take it seriously. I never thought there was a job out there for me that fit all these perspectives. I found priestessing and numerology at the same time, and my world started to come together like the moment that must have been right before The Big Bang.

If you think the Priestess path is something you’d like to explore, please book a free call with me. I am training small groups of female spiritual leaders to walk alongside me in the, leading those who wish for deeper guidance on how to live in this new post-corona virus aquarian age.

Cheers to your spirit!


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