The Heretic’s Guide To Lent

The Heretic’s Guide To Lent

How to observe Lent as a religiously averse spiritual person

I used to think lent was just another way for Catholics to flagellate themselves yet again. I used to think how dumb it was to remove something you liked from your life, all because… it was going to make Jesus happy? Do we really need to keep making Jesus happy? What’s he ever done for me? Why am I listening to what man tells me Jesus wanted me to do? I was ignorant and also unwilling to lose my harsh disdain for religion for what might have been the actual truth. Now I can’t get enough of it. And that Catholic/Christian wound I used to carry where everything religious-related warranted a pantomime finger-down-my-throat.

Nowadays, I want nothing but the truth. The ORIGINAL truth. Not a truth fed to me by mass media, big business, or big religion. I want the origins of everything. This includes our spiritual practices. I really do believe the ancients knew more than we did on certain things, and what they practiced to become closer to the divine (rituals) was one of them.

I study ancient texts now, I look for the true meaning in things, and I look for where women played a role since it’s quite obvious how much that whole thing has been covered up (hullo, Mary Magdalene). I’m devoted to Truth with a capital T, and that’s got to come from within my own aha moments, my own discernment, and my own elated vibration of resonance when the truth just HITS.

This was the first year I decided to participate in lent. My devotion to the True meaning behind ancient rituals brought me to it. I want to know WHY we do these things, not just that we SHOULD. When I learned what lent was true about, I jumped at the chance to join in. And just in time too, because it was starting the next day, March 2, 2022. This is where my guides came in. They immediately told me what it was that I needed to “give up” (hint: that’s the old language of abstinence and restriction). To my surprise, lent isn’t about restriction at all. IT is about something much more powerful and beautiful. Purification. 

You see, I don’t really believe too much in restriction, especially the all-or-nothing kind. I was restricted a lot as a kid, which is part of the reason why I didn’t understand why people would give up something they loved for such a long time of year. I watched my friends growing up suffering, and for what? Nobody knew. They just knew they were supposed to. That type of restriction makes no sense. As a teenager I said to my catholic friends, why would God want you to not eat candy? I was damn lucky if I got a piece of candy or a cookie, there’s no way I’d be giving it up for a cause that is not all that explained to me. When you’re already restricted, more restrictions make for a really dull life… and I didn’t realize at the time most kids had the space to give up some pleasant things. But after all, isn’t enjoying the pleasantries of life, what life is all about? God made pleasant things so you can enjoy them.

The truth behind purification:

So here’s the truth about purification. It is not about self-depreciation or ridding your body of something. It is not about purging, it’s about integrating. It’s about clearing the way inside your mind, body, spirit, and aura so the divine can be birthed through you. And this is the story of Mary the virgin. This is the archetype of Virgo. To purify, cleanse, make better, organize and analyze. I see Virgos akin to defragging a computer. Putting all the bits in a better home so the computer has more processing space. But what purification does more than defragging is that it creates more space than you had before. You become a larger container or womb, for the divine to be received, grown, and born into the world as something completely new. So when you “give up” something for Lent, you’re letting go of what no longer serves you to make room for more and better. In this case for me, it was coffee and the caffeine that came from coffee (but not from green tea.) you are creating energetic space for more of the divine to flow through you. So the clearer your channel, the more potent the messages, creations, and manifestations are.

Here is what I accomplished during my days of purification:

(by the way, I did not observe it like the Catholics do, and allow for these things on Sundays. That feels made up to me and somewhat modern. I went completely old-school purification and when you’re purifying, you just don’t STOP for Sundays. So in total, it’s 46 days, not 40 when you take out the 6 Sundays.)

  • I got the urge to finally write the book I’ve always wanted to write. Except I didn’t know what it was going to be about. So I decided to channel it completely from my guides. I learned the guides channeling through me were called the Rose Collective. And if you know me and what I do, I am a rose priestess educator. So this was quite fitting
  • I was able to channel nearly 20,000 words to this book exactly in this period of time.
  • I had many personal aha moments about my relationship and what I had been doing to contribute to our mess. And how easy the fix was for my portion of things. 
  • Started, and kept up (keyword) a podcast
  • During the Jupiter-Neptune conjunction (towards the end of lent), archangel Chamuel came through with the full title of my book and told me I was a rose code activator which I had used code and activator in my Instagram story the night before which I never do
  • I learned I can do anything uncomfortable for 46 days. I really do have the ability to persevere through discomfort and perform even when not at my best. 
  • I attended the Gaia conference in Denver, co where while I was walking through the labyrinth, my rose collective guides gave me the rose priestess induction ceremony that I never received from my mentor. It was a beautiful wedding for me to the rose collective, where I also learned was where my consciousness came from.
  • I learned there is the 13th chakra and that the goddess laws, the system that I’m channeling, existed. 
  • I’ve had more sex than I ever have had in my entire life
  • My divine channel is always lit.
  • I learned truly what divine surrender meant, and how I was not embodying that part of the feminine. I was still in a chokehold over control and expectations with people, places, and how my own life and goals were unfolding.

Guided steps to observing esoteric lent:

  1. Decide that becoming a smooth ride for the divine is a goal of yours. Really tap into deciding if you want to be the bobsled run for the divine bobsled chariot. If the answer is a whole-hearted yes, read on.
  2. Now you know you want to become a larger and more clear container for the inspiration to come through so you can create with that energy. Tap in during a quiet time (for me it’s running the water while doing the dishes!) and ask from your heart for support from your guides.
  3. Did you get any messages from the above step? Did they give you something to remove that’ll help you become a clearer channel? If not, I bet the first thing you think of is the thing your body, mind, and spirit need less of. It can be as obvious as substances like cigarettes or coffee, but it could also be behaviors that get in the way of your highest self. Like not being able to let go.
  4. If it’s behavioral, it’s going to be harder to notice you’re doing it, and remember you are to be aware of this behavior, so write it on a post-it note and stick it where you’ll see it daily.
  5. create an altar space to use as your signal to the divine that you’re ready and need support. An altar is a portal so the energies will be higher in that area and can help you.
  6. Replace your bad habit with going to your altar. All that extra time you have in the day can now go toward your devotion that you decided upon in step one.
  7. Forgive yourself when you mess up. God isn’t looking for you to be perfect. She’s looking for you to devote yourself. and a part of devotion is to notice when we slip, not to not slip. I may not have had coffee (because it would take a literal effort to do it,) but I did accidentally drink drinks that had caffeine in them that I wanted to avoid. this isn’t about restricting like when you restrict calories in a diet (I do not recommend), messing up doesn’t put you at square one. forgive yourself, ask for divine support and move on.
  8. Celebrate your wins. at the end of each week, write in your journal all that’s changing in your life due to being purer than you were before. Also, give yourself props for being without your vice for this long.
  9. Pray pray pray. Meditate. Whatever it is that connects you. Ask for support. Ask for guidance. GROUND! Usually, our vices are the things that ground us. Find a replacement. For me, it was Mud Water, caffeine-free teas and Matcha (I asked my guides if those things were ok and got a yes. As I said, it was less about caffeine and more about the constituents of caffeinated coffee)

In the end, even though I did suffer on those afternoons when I was premenstrual and a second cup of coffee would have made me more productive, the benefits outweighed it. I highly recommend intentionally purifying to become a clearer channel for the divine. It feels really great to look back on 46 days and see all the changes and shifts that were made within me, and as we all know what happens within happens on the outside too. So your manifestations become even closer to your dreams than ever before.

 

The Unexpected Truth Behind Your Spiritual Purpose In The Aquarian Age

The Unexpected Truth Behind Your Spiritual Purpose In The Aquarian Age

Hey Sistars,

The Goddess Laws are coming! Check out this post about my story of writing my book and what the Goddess Laws are about. Some great secret nuggets for you and your purpose for being born in this time. How do we make the jump into the Aquarian Age correctly? How do we begin to calm the fires of the wounded masculine society to bring in a new sense of wholeness within every single person?

You can also check this out in podcast form here!

blossoming,

Nikki

The Law Of Love

The Law Of Love

Hey Love,

I actually remember the first time somebody called me “Love” as a salutation. It was my boyfriend’s mother in the year 2000. I was 17-ish. And my first inner-inclination was: WHO TF YOU TALKIN’ TO AND LOVE IS NOT WHAT YOU CALL PEOPLE! I was so confused and could feel that critical slime bag creep into my thoughts about her audacity.

I have been resistant to love… the word love (ugh how cliche!), giving love, receiving love, hearts, anything cheesy… you name it. But deep deep down all I really wanted was Love with a capital L. Funny how we resist was we really need and deeply desire, isn’t it?

Love is all-powerful and intelligent, and just like a medicinal mushroom, it’s an adaptogen that knows precisely where to flood in to do the healing. Sometimes it heals through criticism, resentment, and overwhelming fear. As uncomfortable as those feelings are, they are simply there to show you what needs attention in order for you to feel whole.

And after many years of following the trail of heartbreak that love has left behind, I can say that the energy of Love, the power of Love, is what heals it all. All the places that you feel vulnerable, shameful, scared, undesirable, unworthy, are all the places love is missing. All the ways we avoid the pain and distract ourselves by giving love instead (like to our children or animals), are the precise places our psyches are trying to tell us are missing Love.

Love helps us feel whole. Because it helps us recognize we’ve been whole all along. What a teacher! What better way to feel like a powerful baddie than to feel whole unto yourself?

So I invite you to say this little devotional I channeled for you today. This can be said to your higher self, your angels, your divine beings, anything you feel comfortable with:

“May the force of Love ooze into my body like glittery plasma, lighting up every crevice that may have gone untouched or unseen, and heal me in ways I’ve yet to imagine. Let the Love pour in and down through my experience and help me realize where I can replace criticism, desperation, fear or discontent with a force greater than me, for my whole healing.”

May the force of this first new moon of the astrological year light your fire of self-Love and mastery for the days to come!

Many blessings,

Nikki

Turn Your Burdens Into Miracles

Turn Your Burdens Into Miracles

How many grudges do you carry or past experiences do you still hold on to? Taurus is my main signature energy laced with a LOT of Scorpio and I DEFINITELY understand a good ol’ grudge. Even though peace, love, and power are my M.O., something within me naturally holds on to negative feelings and past experiences. It’s so natural that I don’t even notice it.

And the next thing I know, I’m barely able to function because the baggage I’m carrying is so heavy. Let’s just feel into the word grudge for a moment. GRUUUUUUUDGE. It sounds heavy and muddy. It sounds like something that you drag or drudge through lifetimes of sediment on a riverbed. Sludge.

Recently, I asked to be shown what is clouding my ability to be a clear channel for the divine. What in my mind, body, emotions, and spirit needed to be purified? And boy oh boy did they answer!

Purification with the intention of creating more space for the new to come in starts the waves of clarity to roll in. I soon became overly clear on the sludge that kept me weighed down. An insane amount of past energies and negative experiences clung to my spirit like anvils. They took all my inner space where my peace should be.

My guides brought me through a series of people who have continuously hurt me, and who I’ve held grudges against for it. #neverforget. It didn’t matter if these transgressions met me by simply being unsupported, misunderstood without any attempts at understanding, or straight-up abuse… They took me through everything holding me down.

I usually turn to blame myself for “not doing it right”, whatever IT is? But this time it wasn’t about what I was doing, it’s what I WASN’T doing. I wasn’t letting it go. Of course, I can’t fly with all this grudge baggage energy.

I started to notice how I created my reality based on the vibration of “grudge” that I held. I could see clearly how my grudges were affecting my relationships now. I never ever forgot what they did and every interaction that took place between us led with the energy of “I know what you did last summer”… so-to-speak.

Here’s the real kicker that really set me free… If all my relationships are met with grudge energy, that must mean the relationship between the Universe and I was too! I held a grudge against the whole Universe for my struggle-tastic life. It always felt like the Universe never had my back, never let me partake in miracles, never favored me in a way I desired. (I was conflating the universe with my relationship to parental authority). I also held a grudge against my own soul for choosing really hard moments in this life. I existed IN SO MUCH BITTERNESS! Maybe, just maybe, so I could learn this very Taurean/Scorpionic lesson about personal power AND forgiveness.

If you’ve followed the Law Of Attraction at all, you know that being in a state of gratitude is what helps your desires arrive. No wonder I couldn’t manifest what I wanted, because GRUDGES BLOCK GRATITUDE. Therefore, holding on to grudges blocks your energetic state from being receptive. It is one pissed-off, closed-off wall. It literally fills all of your energetic space where there should be peace, openness, hope, love, and gratitude. Grudges and gratitude cannot live in the same space together.

This also ties into your expectations which create your reality. If you’re holding on to and expecting your relationships (with yourself, others, or the Universe) to f*ck you sideways in the most unpleasurable way, as it always has done, it’s going to continue to f*ck you sideways in the most unpleasurable way. You have to let go of what you have experienced to be true so the Universe can show up differently for you.

You can’t manifest on purpose if you’re using this much power to hold onto your grudges. When every thought is filled with pretend conversations on people you’re holding grudges against, you are using SO MUCH of your power that could be directed at effecting change in your life. Being able to create change in your life based on your desires is the whole point of knowing and experiencing our power as expressions of God, here on Earth, creating.

We’ve got to let all this shit go!!! We got to be clear of grudges so there’s enough space open to receive miracles and newness. Forgiveness is the key. Forgive your spouse, your friends, your mom and dad, and your siblings. Forgive the Universe, God, the planets, yourself, your soul for setting this all up, whoever it was that wronged you. Let it melt off you like butter on a summer day. Without the grease.

Spark your inner flame. Keep hold of your power. Make space for dreams to enter your mind-space. Let go of carrying the burden and allow miracles to come in. Allow space for things to be different. Don’t expect them to always be the same… or you will always get… more of the same.

And remember, forgiveness is always for you. Never for the other.

Freedom feels so good!

For a deeper perspective, check out this episode on the Badass Goddess Podcast here:

xo,

Nikki

How To Activate Your Badass Within

How To Activate Your Badass Within

Whenever I do those exercises where you are supposed to ask people to describe you, most times the word “badass” is one of them. “You’re so ba-DASS” they’d say, with an infliction on the “dass” part. Other times I get both syllables exclaimed like you are a BAD (pause) ASS (oftentimes mthrfkr comes after that).

Whenever I post some accomplishments of mine on the internet from things I’ve overcome in the past, I’ll get messages like “you’re such a baddie” or “that’s totally badass”. And I never quite got it. I would shake my head or be really confused like, do people see me at all?! I’m weird, a bit quiet and too gentle to be a badass.

Well, the truth is, those people saw my true “soul-me” and not the me I was projecting myself out in the universe. I would try to hard to cover up any of my badass nature with how mature I was, or how nurturing I was, or how gentle I was. I didn’t own badass at all. But every time someone would say it, it felt like an angel got its wings. It felt natural. It felt powerful. It felt authentic. It felt like home.

And that’s the thing: all those other things that I am such as nurturing and really inclusive/welcoming, are great and the truth. But they didn’t feel powerful to me. When I’d use those words they felt, well, nice, but they did not give me a sense of powered-up priestess vibes. 

I had badassery in my shadow. The shadow is the place where all the things you don’t or can’t see about yourself live. I didn’t OWN this part of me. And when I started to, my world started to click into place. So in case anyone out there has badassery in their shadow, I wanted to define what I deem a true badass to be, in hopes that you will claim this title for yourself as well. And just as a little hint: It’s all about what makes you feel powerful. To me, badassery and power are not mutually exclusive.

What Is A Badass Anyway?

  • Someone who is true to herself.

And with that, you don’t care what others think because when you know you’re doing the right thing, you don’t care what other people say. Like Brene Brown said, don’t take advice from people not in the arena.

  • Someone who overcomes hardship without a chip on her shoulder. 

Meaning, she doesn’t carry the past with her and she sure as hell doesn’t let it run her life and make decisions for her.

  • She strives, but not without fear. 

She continues and keeps going despite setbacks and failures. Because she knows there is no such thing as failure, just redirection 

  • She loves hard, and she does so vulnerably.

Love many things, but love yourself first. And do so knowing there’s a risk involved and do it anyway. Follow your path despite the risk.

  • She moves in this world unencumbered by what others think or say

When you start doing what is truly authentically your soul-self, it stops mattering what other people will say or think with their discomfort of your power.

  • She’s powerful.

She knows where and what gives her power and doesn’t let it leak out. She practices self-care and self-love. She takes care of her needs and her inner child as if her life depends on it.

  • A badass owns her story and gives herself credit for all she’s gone through and overcame. 

She puts words to her pain and gives reverence to her ability to persevere and overcome. She gives herself massive credit and doesn’t shy away from owning her life’s story out of a false sense of humility. 

  • She has solid boundaries, knows why she has them and respects her needs just as much as she respects other’s needs.

This needs no explanation.

  • She believes. She believes in herself and trusts her god.

She develops trust within herself and she believes in her ability to exert a deliberate creation into her future. She is a master of her Self. She understands her divinity and trusts in her spirit team to help co-create her reality with her. This is pure power.

Here’s what a badass is not:

  • She doesn’t push herself over the brink. She knows her limits and respects the hell out of her body.
  • She isn’t living in an overly masculine mindset. She doesn’t follow the paradigm of toxic masculinity where you work yourself to exhaustion just to feel worthy. She ALREADY feels worthy by just being alive.
  • She isn’t obsessed with having power over someone. She is only obsessed with harnessing her own innate power and utilizing it to enact change in her life. She knows the only real power comes from within.

If you’d like to have deeper access to your own personal power by activating the priestess within. Check out my level one priestess training: Sacred Flame Keeper where we will dive in with goddess activations, ritual, and information to show you where your true power lies. You can check it out here. 

To hear more on this topic, head over to The Badass Goddess Podcast to listen and subscribe!

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